Planning your bespoke wedding ceremony – and have children?
Then one thing is clear: they are part of it. And not just because they are somehow "there," but because they are an important part of your story. Maybe you already have children together. Maybe one of you is bringing a child along. Maybe you've been living together as a family for a long time. No matter how – you can show this in a bespoke wedding ceremony. And in a way that suits you: without kitsch, without pressure, without "they have to perform something now." But genuine, with heart, in a setting that reflects your family.
Here are 10 well thought-out ideas for including children in your bespoke wedding ceremony – with real value for you and the little ones.
1. Walking in together
If you're not just a couple but a family, show that from the very start. Involve your children in the ceremony. Instead of a traditional entrance of just the bride or groom, you can walk in together with your children. Whether you enter as a foursome, individually, with the children in your arms or by the hand – do it the way it feels right. This also takes the pressure off and relaxes the start of the ceremony. And it immediately shows: we belong together.
2. Give children a small task
Children love being given responsibility – as long as it stays age-appropriate. This could be carrying the rings, holding a small sign with a message, handing out flowers, or passing on a symbol. What matters is that it feels good for your child and isn't just a show. Simple and clear beats over-staged.
3. A few personal words to the children
As part of your vows, or at another fitting moment, you can speak directly to your children. This can be a short, honest sentence such as: "You are part of us – and we will always be there for you." If you don't quite trust your own voice with all the emotion, I can also craft a set of vows for you that includes your children and what they mean to you – a family promise, so to speak.
4. A shared family ritual
A ritual turns theory into an experience. For a bespoke wedding ceremony with family, a sand ritual, where everyone pours a different colour into the glass, or a time capsule works beautifully. There are countless possibilities here. If you like rituals, we can come up with something personal that suits you and your children – and their ages.
5. Letting them say something, if they want to
Some children want to contribute something themselves – a short wish, a few read-aloud sentences, or simply a sentence from the heart. If the child feels like it, give them that space. If not, that's just as fine. It's about willingness, not performance.
6. Creating a keepsake together
Something that reminds you of this day even after the wedding can be a powerful symbol – a family certificate with signatures or fingerprints, a small piece of art, or a box that everyone adds something symbolic to. It becomes something that connects you again later on.
7. Music with a family connection
Whether it's your child's favourite song, a song you dance to as a family, or an instrumental piece with meaning – music connects. And it creates space for emotion without many words. Especially during the exit or a ritual, this can make the mood relaxed and intense at the same time.
8. A small gesture for the child
It doesn't have to be a big gift – just a small symbol that shows: you belong here too. Perhaps a pendant, a bracelet, or a personal letter. It's not about the material thing, but about the child remembering this day fondly – because they felt like part of the whole.
9. A place where children feel comfortable
Young children in particular don't want to, or can't, sit still for 30 to 45 minutes. And they don't have to. Let small children move around, and make sure they have a spot in the front row so they can be right up close – for example, with floor cushions. A shady spot to the side with a colouring book, a favourite toy, or small snacks also helps them feel seen and occupied, without needing to hold themselves together. It's best to have someone look after small children in particular, so you don't have to keep an eye on them the whole time. That makes a bespoke wedding ceremony with children more relaxed for everyone.
10. Walking out together
The exit is often an emotional highlight. If you walk out together with your children instead of as a couple alone, you send a strong, clear message: we're starting this new chapter as a family. No staging needed – just real impact.
In closing
Children don't make a bespoke wedding ceremony complicated – they bring it to life. They add something no planned symbolism can replace: real connection. If you include them, in a setting that suits their age and nature, your ceremony becomes not just more personal, but unforgettable. For you. And for them.
